Wednesday, November 30, 2011

wherein caolan and the author imagineer a burger

alright fans here we go.

my roommate caolan and i have imagineered another amazing burger.  let me break this down for you

one half-pound patty
half pound of bacon
table spoon of butter (not just any butter mind you, but a highly specialized butter made by caolan and i.  it was butter mixed with pure bacon grease.  and garlic salt because we're out of regular salt)
bun made out of four regular buns.

i have dubbed it the Triple B, which might be the only thing i have ever capitalized on this blog.  the Triple B of course stands for (bacon)buttery bacon burger.  caolan further specialized his by creating a bacon frisco sauce. how he did this i will never know, his sorcerer ways are too far beyond my mortal understanding.

the patties themselves were cooked in the oven at 350 degrees for somewhere around 15 minutes i think.  i lost track of the time because i was busy looking up bacon grease butter recipes, of which i found exactly zero.  i have created bacon grease butter, this is my legacy.  this is what i will be known for in history.

the main concern i had for this creation was whether or not the buns would hold up.  after all we basically took a four bun thing and cut it in half to create the bun for the Triple B.  it held up reasonably well, until i started dipping the Triple B into ketchup.  i think the stress caused by picking it up and turning it over and doing the tango with it and all sorts of other dance moves/sports plays.  it was then that the move called the Triple B division was created.  the Triple B division is done by flipping the burger in half, and then in half again, creating a monstrosity known as the Triple B tower.  caolan, using the unholy power that flows through his veins, was the first to master this technique.  my attempt only brought shame to my family.  i fully expect to be disowned for my transgressions.

pictures of the Triple B summoning process will be up tomorrow probably, i promise.


  1. look i'll post the recipe for bacon grease butter as soon as i can figure out the measurements i used!